There's an interesting mixture of emotions going on inside me today. I'm feeling lonely, yet loved & close; I'm feeling sad on behalf of a friend that has a lot to deal with right now, but happy that she's doing okay, overall. I'm feeling very restless, as if there's something more that I need, or want- but don't have a clue what it might be.
I feel... that I want MORE, I guess- I'm having one of those middle-aged moments, lol, when I look around my life, and wonder where it all came from: "Can this really be my life?"
Well, I'm not so immature that I don't know it is my life- and overall, mostly, I'm content with it. That's not to say there aren't things I'd change, if I could- distance and time, come to mind instantly. I'd love to be a lot further south and a bit west. Well, ideally, further south and on a coast, but I'd settle for a bit west anyway.
I would like to be 'grown up' enough to not have to worry if a car breaks, if a home repair comes up unexpectedly- but I'm also 'grown up' enough to know that if we hadn't had such a tumultuous year, that would be the case... and that it's temporary. Maybe, I'm wishing I wasn't grown-up enough to know that, lol!
I guess, I'm just at loose ends, and missing someone deeply, and sometimes that's reality too.