Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thinking about Sex & Perceptions

Earlier today, I was texting with my wife, and she made a comment that "I've been willing but you're not interested lately."

Cue the SMS equivalent of "Hunh??"

I had mentioned a couple times, lately, that she's been less interested in sex, in the past while- overall, it's been somewhat down for months, which she's acknowleged. Some of that, I can understand intellectually- she has to deal with thyroid and such, which tosses all the hormones & libido & feelings for a loop; but more than "just" that, she's not been wanting to play, and when we do, it's often felt perfunctory, sorta; rather as if, as in the olden-days, it's a duty she feels she needs to perform.

There are still times when that's completely not true, of course- but you sure can't figure out a pattern, or what brings it on. I have thought off and on that maybe she's been fooling around with someone again, and that's when she gets hot- but can't really see it somehow, doesn't exactly "feel" right.

So, I guess I was musing along the lines of different perceptions of the same circumstances, more than anything, and finding it interesting once again how two people in the same relationship, same times and places, can have feelings at such odds with one another. I'm going along thinking she's not interested, she's going along thinking it's *me* that's not interested, and neither one of us gets laid for ten day, hmmphf.

Then I started wondering, am I less interested than normal? It doesn't feel so, but perhaps it is me? Yet, I know I've tried, and brought it up a couple times (although just casually), and certainly there's been teasy-hinting wanting talk here and there, on both our parts- but hmmm... I guess I can't say, although I don't think I'm less interested. I'm not distracted by cybering, or sexting, or such- cuz that's not been happening either, while my lover is incommunicado... we were able to snatch one evening on the phone, but that isn't enough to make me "not want it" anyway, lol-

Sooo, I dunno, guess it's just what it is, and we'll have to get better again, at making ourselves clear when we want some :)