Golden Showers & Piss-Play

--In which I talk about *gasp*... kinky play with piss, Golden Showers and describe a wonderful memory, a fantasy and thoughts--


So, if you're not into reading about, or enjoying the idea of piss play, Golden Showers, denial, and things of this nature- move along.

If you are, however, read on...

So, for many many years, I would say that I was extremely "vanilla", in my sexual activities and practices. Not that I wouldn't indulge in some different play, but it was all pretty mild, and pretty rare, and in a lot of ways it wasn't something that was allowed and could be openly discussed; in fact in a lot of ways, that's still the case, for much of my time.

However, I have the wonderful delight of sharing with my lover an enjoyment and satisfaction and mutual pleasure in exploring all kinds of sexuality, and a relationship that allows us to discuss honestly and directly things that we want to, things we may fantasize about, and things that we've been able to indulge ourselves in. 

One of those things is playing with, talking about, fantasizing about, and experimenting with urine. Piss. Pee. Hot, wet, and taboo- and mmmphf, god. It's interesting that the first time we were ever together, almost before anything else occurred, I put my fingers into her stream as she peed, and tasted it- and in some ways, I think it really helped to let it be a special and grand thing to share together.

Since then, we've talked, and shared more thoughts & fantasies- and we've shared piss, directly, both hers on me and mine on hers, multiple times. We have also, both of us, played in it *for* the other, and played *in* the other's, and we've shared the intimacy of pissing *on* the other, too- and yes, we've both gotten aroused enough, and into it enough, to take it directly to our mouths, too.

There's something about it that strikes a chord in me- the taboo-ness of it? The sheer intimacy and trust it engenders? I'm not sure, but I know I like the feelings, a lot; and lately, I've been thinking about it a lot, and remembering, and dreaming of *more*, and so I thought I'd put it here.

One of the most memorable interludes came when I was spending several weeks in her town, for work- so I was in a hotel, and she managed to arrange things so that we had *tiime*, an amazing amount really, to spend together; and one evening, we were getting ready to go to a special club. We shared some bath time together, and as she stood over me, all tan and nude and sexy, she had to pee...and since I'd expressed an interest in replicating a photo that we'd seen, she squatted over me as I held the camera... and she let her stream flow, sexy hot golden and intimate, so special, to feel her letting that go onto my skin, feel it flowing across my cock and balls and stomach; to know my subby place, as the repository for her piss, gave me such an amazing, such an intensely close & deeply connected feeling...

Then she lowered more, and opened herself to me, and took my cock inside her sweet hot pussy, wet with bubble water, wet with piss, wet with her own sweet juices (Have I noted that she gets *wet*? I mean, *reallly* wet? If not- she does, think puddles and flowing pussy juices, sooo exciting, sooo sexy, sooo hot!)...









We fucked there in the tub, tight and close, and then rinsed off & went on with the night... but I'll never, ever forget that moment, jeez.

Since then, we've had a lot of texts back and forth, sometimes as simple as "Pissing on you", and it never fails to make my heart thump, my breath catch, and (as it is now), frequently my cock throbs & leaks..*squirm* ;)

I recall one moment, as I had her bare foot extended, watching my piss run across her red-painted toes, and seeing her eyes darken and deepen... and, I'll also never forget one moment in another visit to her town, sharing a big jacuzzi bubble-tub... and standing over her, with my piss coming hard and long, as she dripped in it, watching it run down her chest, off her nipples, down her belly & clit & pussy... and having her lift her mouth and catch it...(*squirimmmm*).

One day too, I'm going to indulge in something I've thought of, but haven't done yet- we're going to be out in the woods, wandering, and I'm going to have her strip for me, except for her shoes. Facing away from me, I will watch as she squats low, so her ass is flexed & her cleft is visible from behind, and I'll photograph her pissing, outside in the sunlight; then I'll slip around and catch that from the front, too- and then, I'll have her bring me her sweet pussy, and I'll use my mouth to clean any drips off, so she won't have any stickiness as we finish our walk.

There have been a few times, too, where we've played with denial- I've had her squirming and full, as she has to me- and I *never* knew how intense the arousal can be, just from having a full bladder. Although, hmmm... I suspect that another big component of that, is the fact that if I'm being denied release, it's under her orders and direction; and since when I'm subby, anything at all that she directs me to do is intensely sexy, it could be that, too. One day maybe I'll deny *myself*, and see how much is physical pressure, and how much is emotional and knowing that I'm hers to command, owned by her, and obey her.

Probably a fair amount of it, for me at any rate (She can feel it on her g-spot, but of course I don't have one!), is the knowing/emotions; because it's almost as exciting to know *she's* obeying, if I've instructed her to hold it, or to taste her own stream. 

There are a lot of people that I've come across, mostly online, a few that I've known well enough to ask and talk about things like this, and one of the things I've come to know, in the past few years with my darling lover, is that *anything* is okay, if it's a mutual interest and a shared enjoyment. 

I've also learned that changing perceptions and pushing boundaries, extending limits, is one of the most exciting things around. I never used to think I'd "ever" want to take piss directly into my mouth, nor that I'd want to piss into hers- (but, that wasn't a hard-limit either)... and now? It's one of the most exciting, memorable, and sexy fantasies and memories that I have; and I'm really really looking forward to indulging that more- from both sides, as the pisser and the pissee (Pissee? Whatever!), anyway- I want to explore that again and again, more and more, and really wish it could be *now*, *more*!

Musings

Hmm... this got stuck in draft, for some reason- was written back in May, so I'll put it up now, and then add the "today" entry so at least they're in order-written... or not, it wont let me do the order grrrr. Oh well!

Been a while since I've updated here, I guess I'll just put it down to "too much happening in life, to write about it all", or something. There are definitely times when I feel a need to write, and others that will just wait while I process and let things percolate; there have been several events that I'd put in the latter category, in the past few months. In fact I'm not really sure what I'm wanting to say about some of them, but I am feeling some need to write... so I'm gonna babble, lol. If you don't want to read babble, skip this; I will also note, but make no apology for, the tenses and pronoun shifts in the writing. Some are to the world, and some are addressed to a specific someone, and she knows who she is ;)


My darling and I have been together twice, since I last posted here; I flew to her, and we spent time in big tubs, making fantasies come true; binding her in shabari ropes, fucking her while my cock was wrapped in beads, pissing on each other, spanking and candles and all manner of sexy play.

The second trip, we shared a drive to distant cities. Beach walking, tears, and lots of "just holding", and attempts at pampering and caring-for, and dealing with very difficult emotions.

I'll be flying to her again, in a couple of weeks, to do my best to give her support and love, and to let her know I'm with her, for her, on her side at all times.

And as I'm writing, I think I'm figuring out why I needed to do so; it's because I want to let her know- let YOU know- that yes- I love, <3, am thrilled by our explorations in sex, sexuality, sensuality; I am fascinated by our learning about each other, and what I learn of myself in our relationship; I like being able to tell you things I've never confessed to *anyone*- and sometimes, not even myself- (Yes darling, I'm brave enough now to say out loud, right here, I'm interested in MMF sex, too- I want to explore that more, with you, and yes- I get turned on by remembering that you watched me lick and fondle a cock, and receive a blowjob as you held me).

But, despite all that, or maybe because of, or alongside, or whatever- it's the tears that you shed, and shared with me, that I could kiss, and taste. It's the hitch in your voice, and in your breathing, that you allowed me to hear; it's the trust you give to me, to be vulnerable with me, that deeply, totally moves and thrills me.

Trust in another is a wonderful thing, and to be given that level of trust, from you, is a gift that I cherish, and I am grateful for it; and despite any bad-times that are happening, the simple knowlege that you reach out to me, knowing that I'm going to love and care and listen and be your ear and your rock is the most profound gift you've given me, in all the plethora of gifts from you.

I've said these things before, I know- and probably just as badly expressed as here, but I'm not writing this in "edit mode"; no, this is "heart-mode", and I hope and pray you understand what I mean, and that you know you have me, as I have you; that you are my treasure and delight, and a constant source of joy, even when times are sad and hard and distant.

My darling, I love you so much, and want so badly for your happiness, that I can feel an ache inside me *for* you to have that; and I know that you're aware of my own feelings of "inadequacy" for "helping", (cuz I'm a guy, lol)... I do also want you to know that I'm more than pleased to just listen and be your sounding board, too.

Love you, more than ever, more than I can say, more than you even know-
D-

Random Sex-thinks :)

1. I really want to fuck my lover while she's on her period again; we both <3 that so much, and she's got it now, and I want to feel it again.

2. Along with the fucking, I like to give her oral, the taste is much muskier than otherwise (note, I can't say "normal", cuz it's just as normal for us to be together @ period as not!!) and it's thicker, kinda.

3. I had a wonderful dream of an FFM threesome, an amazing time; I want that.

4. I want an MMF, as well- I want to feel how tight she is, when I'm inside her at the *same* time another cock is filling her.

5. I think of sex and sexuality a LOT, lately- Maybe I'm having a second adolescence? I don't know... but I sure do have fun fantasizing!

6. Someday, I want to get to the beach with my love, when it's not cold and we can spend time together, just hanging out and swimming and wading, and be naked in the sun together. With or without others, lol!

7. I need to spank her ass again, and I think she's needing it too. Then I'm going to sooth it with lotion, and cuddle her close and kiss the tears away, and love her.

Thinking about Sex & Perceptions

Earlier today, I was texting with my wife, and she made a comment that "I've been willing but you're not interested lately."

Cue the SMS equivalent of "Hunh??"

I had mentioned a couple times, lately, that she's been less interested in sex, in the past while- overall, it's been somewhat down for months, which she's acknowleged. Some of that, I can understand intellectually- she has to deal with thyroid and such, which tosses all the hormones & libido & feelings for a loop; but more than "just" that, she's not been wanting to play, and when we do, it's often felt perfunctory, sorta; rather as if, as in the olden-days, it's a duty she feels she needs to perform.

There are still times when that's completely not true, of course- but you sure can't figure out a pattern, or what brings it on. I have thought off and on that maybe she's been fooling around with someone again, and that's when she gets hot- but can't really see it somehow, doesn't exactly "feel" right.

So, I guess I was musing along the lines of different perceptions of the same circumstances, more than anything, and finding it interesting once again how two people in the same relationship, same times and places, can have feelings at such odds with one another. I'm going along thinking she's not interested, she's going along thinking it's *me* that's not interested, and neither one of us gets laid for ten day, hmmphf.

Then I started wondering, am I less interested than normal? It doesn't feel so, but perhaps it is me? Yet, I know I've tried, and brought it up a couple times (although just casually), and certainly there's been teasy-hinting wanting talk here and there, on both our parts- but hmmm... I guess I can't say, although I don't think I'm less interested. I'm not distracted by cybering, or sexting, or such- cuz that's not been happening either, while my lover is incommunicado... we were able to snatch one evening on the phone, but that isn't enough to make me "not want it" anyway, lol-

Sooo, I dunno, guess it's just what it is, and we'll have to get better again, at making ourselves clear when we want some :)